A Room with a View

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Epilogue…
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can’t buy.
Source: Motivational-Messages.com

A Story to Live By

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister’s bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. “This,” he said, “is not a slip. This is lingerie.” He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. “Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.

Well, I guess this is the occasion.” He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. “Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you’re alive is a special occasion.”

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister’s family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn’t seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I’m still thinking about his words, and they’ve changed my life. I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savour, not endure. I’m trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I’m not “saving” anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my partygoing friends. “Someday” and “one of these days” are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.

I’m not sure what my sister would’ve done had she known that she wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences or past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I’m guessing – I’ll never know. It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with – someday. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write – one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I’m trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is… a gift from God.

Ann Wells, Los Angeles Times

5 Simple ways to control your negative inner chatter

gratitude8

1. Work on your mindset everyday!

One of my favorite books, “Think and Grow Rich” describes the subconscious mind as ‘a fertile garden spot, in which weeds will grow in abundance, if the seeds of more desirable crops are not sown therein’. You need to fill your mind with positive thoughts about yourself, your goals and the possibilities abound. And it has to become a daily routine, just like exercise. To keep your body in shape you need to have a regular exercise routine, the mind is no different. Here are some suggestions to keep your mind conditioned and create a winning mindset:

positive-mindset

a. Create a mind movie and watch it every day. At the very least, create a PowerPoint slide with pictures or images of your goals. More advanced programs like Windows Movie Maker or online programs like Flash Slideshow Maker can also be used. The idea is to have your goals in front of you and top of mind everyday like a vision board or scrapbook.


b. Read self-help or personal development books or magazines. Some of my favorites are Think and Grow Rich, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Develop a collection of these kinds of books and read and reread them often.


c. Read personal development blogs or websites Try to be organized and selective about this in the interest of time. The idea is to subscribe to a handful of blogs, weekly newsletters and read the updates. Its easy to get lost in the myriad of information out there on this subject.



2. Affirmationsabund-dance

Use affirmations to reaffirm specific goals you are working towards or to affirm qualities of the person you want to become or to affirm a new way of thinking. Some examples:



a. I am so happy and grateful now that I drive a Land Rover Discovery, my dream car


b. I am a goal-setting, smart working self-starter who is a disciplined and persistent positive thinker


c. When God closes one door, he always opens another


A few things to note about affirmations:
• Always use affirmations in the present tense,

• Say affirmations with feeling and emotion behind it

• Use affirmations in the affirmative i.e. Say, ‘I am financially independent’ is better than saying, ‘I am not in debt’





3. Gratitudegratitude8

Be grateful for what you have no matter how bad things get. Things can always be much worse. Once there is life, there is hope, be grateful for that! As soon as you catch yourself starting to think negative, disempowering thoughts, switch to thoughts of gratitude even for the little things. Say it out loud if you have to. List them one by one and see how far you can go. A great exercise which I first heard on Oprah and then on ‘The Secret’ is to keep a gratitude journal. Write down at least 3 things that you are grateful for every night. If it was a particularly bad day, make it 10 things. Or do a gratitude brainstorm, set a time and see how many things you can write down in the allotted time. Until you can be truly grateful for the things you have in your life right now, you will not be ready to receive what you hope and wish for.


4. How can it go right? bealright

Instead of thinking of all the ways that something could go wrong, think of all the ways that it could go right. Whether you are working on a new business idea, a career change or any worthwhile venture. When you make yourself think of all the ways that things could go right, you open up yourself to new ideas.








5. Visualizationvisualization

Use your imagination and let your mind soar! Visualize your most desired outcome. Rehearse it in your mind. Picture yourself making that sale, closing on your dream home, doubling your income or whatever your goal or burning desire. You can do it. This is a powerful exercise and should be done daily. With preparation and visualization, you can attract to yourself whatever you want and watch it come through in your life.



So how do you plan to control your negative inner chatter? Or do you have an idea that I have not included here? I would love to hear from you.

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